第149章 彼岸守魂人—顾阳安的回忆
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忘川的水涨了第三回时，顾阳安在奈何桥边看见那片彼岸花。
花是血红色的，瓣尖凝着幽冥的雾，像谁把天边的晚霞揉碎了，撒在黄泉路上的每一寸土。他站在花影里，指尖碰了碰花瓣——凉的，像简溶月从前给他递茶时，指尖沾着的晨露。
顾阳安记不清自己是第几次来问鬼王。
幽冥的殿宇是青灰色的，梁上悬着青铜灯，灯影里陆昭远的衣摆晃啊晃，像块化不开的墨。顾阳安跪在阶下，掌心攥着半块玉珏——那是简溶月前世塞给他的，青白玉上刻着并蒂莲，边角已经磨得发亮。
顾阳安：“我要转世。“
他说，声音撞在殿柱上，又弹回来
顾阳安：“我有法子重塑肉身，能回到阳间找她。“
陆昭远正在翻一本旧账，纸页发出细碎的响
陆昭远：“哦？你倒记得清楚她的名字。“
顾阳安的喉结动了动。他当然记得——简溶月，字昭宁，前世是他的青梅竹马，简家大小姐，穿月白裙，腕上系着他编的红绳。
顾阳安：“她等我。“
顾阳安抬头，眼底映着殿顶的冥火
顾阳安：“我欠她的，要还。“
陆昭远合上账本，抬眼时瞳孔里浮着幽蓝的光
陆昭远：“你可知轮回的规矩？“
顾阳安：“知道。“
顾阳安点头
顾阳安：“要喝孟婆汤，会忘前尘。“
陆昭远：“忘不了又如何？“
陆昭远站起身，青衫扫过案上的青铜铃
陆昭远：“你转世成贩夫走卒，她或许是官宦小姐；你成了将军，她或许是江湖侠女。你们不在同一时空，不在同一命运里——就算遇见，她也不认识你。“
殿内的灯忽然暗了。顾阳安望着陆昭远身后的壁画，那是轮回的图景：一对男女在奈何桥边擦肩而过，女子回头笑，男子却牵着另一个人的手，走向不同的桥。
顾阳安：“可……“
他攥紧玉珏
顾阳安：“哪怕只有一瞬，我想认出她。“
陆昭远走到他面前，指尖点了点他的眉心
陆昭远：“你确定？要不要让你看看？“
顾阳安的回忆是从桃树下开始的。
前世的简溶月总在桃树下绣花。她坐在青石板上，膝头摊着绣帕，针尾坠着他编的铜铃，一动就响。顾阳安却换了身份，游方的道士，穿洗得发白的道袍，腰间挂着桃木剑，总蹲在她旁边看她绣。
简溶月：“你总是看我“
她举着绣帕笑
简溶月：“请问你是谁啊？“
顾阳安：“我...“
帕子上的莲花歪歪扭扭，花瓣却涂了最艳的朱砂。顾阳安接过，指尖碰到她的手——凉的，像幽冥的彼岸花。他忽然慌了，想把帕子塞回去，却被她攥住手腕
简溶月：“你心跳得好快啊。“
顾阳安慌忙收回手
简溶月：“我是个医女，镇子里的医馆是我父亲开的。“
顾阳安觉得哪里不对
顾阳安：“不对...“
这个时候有一个男人找到她，亲昵的叫着她
万能龙套：“阿月，回家了。“
简溶月站起身，跑到男人面前，像是想起什么一样回头看向他
简溶月：“小道士，这是我夫君啦，我就先走啦。“
顾阳安心痛如绞，想要叫出声叫住她，发现自己发不出声音，他就只能看着简溶月和那个男人亲密，怀孕然后...顾阳安想要杀了那个男人，眼前一黑就昏了过去
顾阳安是被忘川的水声惊醒的。
他漂浮在黄泉路上，看见彼岸花铺成的路，看见奈何桥边的孟婆，看见无数魂魄喝下汤后，忘了前尘走向阳间。他忽然想起陆昭远的话——“就算遇见，她也不认识你”。
顾阳安：“我不想忘了她。“
他对陆昭远说，声音里带着哭腔
顾阳安：“就算只能看着她，我也不想她忘了我。“
陆昭远的眼神软了些。他从袖中取出一枚彼岸花，花瓣是透明的，里面映着简溶月的影子
陆昭远：“放弃了？“
顾阳安：“嗯。“
陆昭远：“你自己想好了就行。“
陆昭远把花递给他
陆昭远：“这一世她快出生了，去看看吧“
顾阳安接过花。花瓣碰到他的掌心，忽然变得滚烫——像简溶月的温度。他想起前世她绣的并蒂莲，想起她举着帕子笑的样子，想起她哭着喊他名字的声音。
顾阳安：“好。“
他说，把彼岸花别在发间
顾阳安：“等着我，溶月。“
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