第1章
一秒记住【笔趣阁】
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《海棠攻来晋江再就业》作者：2暗白【完结】
文案：
海棠攻失业了，因为他只有一根几把
内容标签：幻想空间情有独钟穿越时空甜文
搜索关键字：主角：失业海棠攻，古早晋江受┃配角：没什么配角┃其它：
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☆、海棠攻跳槽成功
在古老的中华大地上，矗立着一个又一个的文学城，无数角色在其中安居乐业，如恒河沙数般渺小，也如星辰般闪耀。他们是作者和读者的快乐源泉。
那是一个平平无奇的早晨，海棠攻正式失业了。
因为他只有一个几把，还没有刺儿。
海棠攻他曾经也辉煌过。他当魔尊时囚禁过天帝日日夜夜日日最后be，当皇帝时和将军搞过强制play最后be，当魔教教主时，和皇帝和武林盟主一起和小医仙度过了愉快的小黑屋时光，然后为了保护小医仙be了。
他曾经是海棠最受欢迎的攻，但是这一切，都一去不复返了。
一个&ldo;邪&rdo;字惯穿了海棠攻的一生，他有着令人心痛的过去，他的心理是扭曲疯狂的，业务范围就是搞强制爱，逼疯善良清冷黑洞受，当一个后悔莫及的炮灰渣攻。
但随着读者口味的变迁，这个人设已经渐渐垮掉，邪魅狂狷成为了海棠受的热门人设。
最惨的是，时代在进步，小受在进化，现在海棠最吃香的受居然是雌雄同体neei受!
于是，继人设垮掉之后，海棠攻的业务能力也受到了莫大的考验。
20已经不行了。要想接到热门剧本，在质量上，得可长可短会收缩，数量上，两根起步，有刺最好。
在人生的迷茫路口上，海棠文学城管理员苦口婆心地劝道：&ldo;你呀，是时候转型啦，没有一种人设是能吃一辈子的。你，身材好，性格狂傲十分欠艹，你就当强受吧。&rdo;
海棠攻的外形条件是非常好的，是十年前古风读者的心头好。
衣着狂放暴露，身高一米八八，棱角分明，肩宽腿长，声线华丽邪魅，性格喜怒无常，特别是对各种小道具的运用炉火纯青，什么小皮鞭，什么合欢散，几乎每一本剧本都能发挥出他卓越的技术。
然而，强受在海棠实在是太惨了，既要走肉，还要不屈，拥有无数剧本经验的海棠攻几乎可以预见自己未来在小黑屋的悲惨模样。
世界那么大，海棠攻想去看看。
海棠攻刚出生时，也有过自己的人生理想。他想，他会创造一番惊人的事业，他接的人物从来都是天之骄子，干得却是床笫之欢，日到吐，还要装作很喜欢的样子。他期望过爱情，幻想会有一个白头偕老的爱人，没想到他一腔扭曲的爱情，换来的是浑身绿的发光。
他们要么说：&ldo;海棠攻!我恨你!我死也不会喜欢你!&rdo;要么说：&ldo;我爱你，也爱他，还爱他和他和他，你们可以一起分享我。&rdo;
海棠攻爱过，恨过，也累了，事业与爱情，他必须要有一个。
于是，海棠攻对管理员说：&ldo;我要和海棠解约。送我去。&rdo;
管理员顿觉不爽，道：&ldo;你可别忘了，你有今天全靠我们海棠一力栽培培培培培培培培培培培……&rdo;管理员身形闪烁，声音也诡异地卡顿起来。
海棠攻了然‐‐海棠的服务器又又又抽了，加载时间从一分钟到几个月不等。海棠攻习惯了，站在原地耐心地等待。
当然，他想走也走不了，因为他也卡住了。
幸运的是，几分钟后，管理员重新上线。
&ldo;……你在，会有我们给你的a级待遇吗?会有那么好的资源吗?&rdo;
海棠攻冷笑道：&ldo;让我当强受就是好的资源吗?谁都知道强受混得最不好了!&rdo;
管理员怒目道：&ldo;谁叫你没长两个洞!我想给你安排双性浪受也不行啊!&rdo;
海棠攻拔剑出鞘，一双凤眼冷冷盯着管理员：&ldo;给老子安排去，我再也不想过性生活了，否则别怪我踹得海棠服务器当场崩溃。&rdo;
&ldo;别别别，平时就已经够卡得了!再崩溃又得修一个月!&rdo;管理员右手一挥，一个冒着绿光的传送阵出现在海棠攻面前，&ldo;去吧去吧，真讨厌，以后可别哭着回来求我。&rdo;
海棠攻孤疑道：&ldo;为什么这个文学城这么绿?是这个颜色吗?&rdo;
管理员心虚道：&ldo;网站皮肤而已嘛，都是大长篇，绿色有利于保护青少年视力。&rdo;
海棠攻道：&ldo;你刚才在三秒钟内眨眼十次，你在说谎，用眨眼掩饰紧张。&rdo;
管理员：&ldo;……&rdo;
海棠攻袖子一甩，大步迈开，道：&ldo;但是没关系，我无所畏惧，没有什么能阻拦我的步伐。&rdo;
海棠攻走入了绿色传送阵，传送阵光芒大盛，淹没了海棠攻的身影。
绿光汇聚，一行字熠熠有光‐‐缠绵悱恻的爱情故事，尽在晋江文学城。
☆、遇见古早晋江受
古早晋江受已经很久没有性生活了。曾经娇嫩滴水的小雏菊因为太久没人浇灌，萎缩成了一朵杭白老胎菊。
同样的，他曾经也辉煌过。
十年前，晋江还是一个会突然冒出辣眼小黄广的文学城，也还没有像现在这样甜文当道，那时的阿晋，满地狗血，虐恋情深，相爱相杀。最关键的是，那时，主角是有性生活的。
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