593.疯狂弹幕
一秒记住【笔趣阁】
biquge34567.com，更新快，无弹窗！
筐子里的南瓜烂的并不是很大块儿，毕竟它天生就是易储存的食物，平时在地里放很久都没事。
只不过这些南瓜恰巧在一处洼地里，清晨露水重，露水都压在南瓜下头了，这才坏了好些个。
乔乔单手拎起一只南瓜——好吧，没成功，这长南瓜长得也格外粗壮，只能用两手抓着。
而后看准了烂掉的地方，提起菜刀，卡察一声，就直接将那处砍掉了。
再看看猪圈里眼巴巴的七头猪们，他想了想，又将南瓜卡卡砍成块儿，瓜瓤掏了出来，这才依次扔进猪圈里。
猪多，不切块直接扔的话就抢的吱吱哇哇叫，还是这样好。
哎呀，乔乔真聪明！
乔乔美滋滋的想。
弹幕却是吸熘吸熘——
【老南瓜！自然成熟的老南瓜！】
【看这南瓜饱和度多高啊，切一块儿回来糖都不用放，直接就打南瓜汤！】
【呼噜噜，呼噜噜，再来一碗！】
【炫我嘴里，炫我嘴里！】
【主播，南瓜都要给猪吃了，肯定有多的吧，为什么不上架卖？】
【就是，为什么不卖？是因为我没钱吗？】
【主播心里有我！他一定是知道我工资花完了】
【区区一个南瓜，给猪吃都不卖给我，也太过分了呜呜呜球球了】
【等等，这不是个喂猪直播吗？为什么弹幕区吵的乱七八糟，一点都不和谐】
【就是！无意中点开来，别人家喂猪直播都很平和啊】
【那你们点错了，这是个教育主播】
【？？？教育主播？教育什么】
【教育我们别跟猪抢食……】
【……】
弹幕区热热闹闹，乔乔手起刀落，无情卡卡砍了五六个南瓜，猪圈里的猪才堪堪消停一些。
他也终于擦了擦额头上的汗，这才松了口气：
“家里南瓜太多了，七表爷连做好几顿，我们都不想吃了……”
听听，听听！这是什么话？！
弹幕瞬间炸开了！
然而乔乔压根不看，只是一脸满足的说道：“妈妈本来想把南瓜网上卖的，姐姐说切开了不好发快递，不切开一个南瓜太重了，快递费好贵……还是算了，留着自家吃吧。”
说着他就掰起了指头：“毕竟冬天菜少，我们要为冬天做准备，所以晒了很多干菜，也腌了很多咸菜，七表爷还要做南瓜饼南瓜干……”
弹幕啊啊啊疯起来了——
【可恶！难道快递费不是我们自己掏吗？我都没嫌贵你凭什么嫌贵？】
【就是，大不了我不凑一千包邮了嘛！】
【主播我愿意快递到付，麻烦你先送五个南瓜给我，我不会吃烦】
【厌倦了呜呜呜……这究竟是什么虎狼之词？难道我的口水淹没不了你吗？】
【这真的是教育主播不是传销主播吗？你们听起来好狂热好恶心】
【就是，一个南瓜，菜市场五毛一斤，什么买不来】
【我这里要八毛耶】
【你们都是什么神仙地方，我这里要三块多】
【按惯例这南瓜一斤不会低于二十，一个南瓜二三十斤，两个南瓜就凑够包邮了……主播嫌弃快递贵我倒是能理解】
【我不理解！可以限购一个呀，反正那么少根本不够抢】
【笑死！非酋手气抢货从来艰难，从不奢望能抢两个】
【二十一斤的南瓜，你们还要这样抢？好家伙，我这是进传销窝了，举报了！】
【举报个鬼！你怎么不去举报六十一斤的车厘子】
【就是，上回就是因为你们这群人打假举报的，主播来了那么多粉丝，抢个桃都千难万难的……还来？！】
【滚滚滚，我看谁举报了，我也去举报你造谣诽谤】
弹幕瞬间吵了起来。
乔乔却已经埋头接着切南瓜了。
顺带掏着南瓜瓤展示在镜头下：“其实南瓜瓤也很甜的，你们看南瓜子是不是长得特别饱满？妈妈说让留下来炒南瓜子。”
他说完又自顾自的乐了起来：“但我喜欢吃瓜子耶！姐姐说明年给我种一片向日葵，到时候就有瓜子吃了！小朋友们放心吧，会吃给你们看的！”
【？？？主播你要不要听听你说的是什么？】
【实不相瞒我3600度近视从没见过瓜子，建议主播送我两斤尝尝，我不挑，南瓜子葵花籽都行】
【主播是真一点不怕呀，我说举报你还这里装傻充愣】
【笑死，怕什么？我们乔乔从不看弹幕。】
【他强由他强，清风拂山岗】
【只有真正心灵强大的人才能从不在意外界的言语！】
【没错，我们教育主播是真的心灵强大，有被教育到】
【笑死！他不看弹幕，是因为他是一个姐宝男，姐姐说不看就不看】
【前面的你好像在骂人哈哈哈……】
【就是！我深情告白那么多次求上架，他看都不看，根本不把我放在眼里】
所谓他横由他横，明月照大江，乔乔聊起天来根本不讲逻辑的，思维天马行空，这回又想到了一件事：
“对了小朋友们，你们一定要好好学习哦！姐姐说明年割稻子或者掰玉米的时候，会给我办同学会，邀请直播间学习好的小朋友。”
当然这学习好肯定不是指文化课……
他说完还略有遗憾的叹口气：“今年不行啦，今年玉米种的很少，马上就要掰了。】
【我一个懒驴打滚——鲤鱼打挺——哦不海豹翻滚！
同学会？！是我想的那种吗？】
【我姐真是人美心善！
！】
【不要乱当弟弟，那明明是我姐姐。乔宝儿，再给你添个二姐姐好不好？】
【喂喂喂，重点啊重点！同学会是不是到主播家乡去大吃大喝？临走再揣上一麻袋？】
【好家伙，我这就去买一辆货车！用麻袋属实太小气了！】
【主播看我看我！直播间优秀课代表，场场不落！】
【同学会掰玉米？壮劳力竟是我我自己？！我愿意！
！】
【什么什么掰玉米？我会呀，我小时候进过玉米地的，有地方复习。】
【你都有玉米地了还跟我们抢？】
【可怜我城市长大，独生子女，这辈子没干过农活，正缺这样一个机会长长见识——】
【你们要不要听听你们在说什么？】
【主播看我！劳动课陪我女儿拿小镰刀割过野草，经验十分娴熟，可签合同，受伤不找主播赔偿】
【好家伙！卷起来了是吧？我也可签合同！】
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